Proverbs 23:22-25
New Living Translation (NLT)
22 Listen to your father, who gave you life,
and don’t despise your mother when she is old.
23 Get the truth and never sell it;
also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.
24 The father of godly children has cause for joy.
What a pleasure to have children who are wise.
25 So give your father and mother joy!
May she who gave you birth be happy.
Who else thought of the commandment:
Exodus 20:12
New Living Translation (NLT)
“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
It's "the first commandment with a promise" (Ephesians 6:2) and probably one of the first ones you ever broke. Over and over, whether it was publicly or privately. Maybe you didn't know your parents, maybe they weren't very respectful themselves and so they were hard to honor, maybe they were but you were just "that" child in pain looking to take it out on the world, maybe you became a perfectionist that constantly sought to get some molecule of recognition that they were happy with the way you tried to honor them but it was never enough... Let's face it, they probably sinned against you just as much as you sinned against them because we are all sinners. A lot of pain can come with this commandment, conviction for behavior that can go deep into childhood. This could be the current situation. This could be your relationship with God.
Or how about some good ol' works-based living? Are your actions on the surface, doing the honoring thing only for the promise?
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing."
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 New Living Translation (NLT)
Sometimes, we skip to the result of love before we have learned to love. We read these promises and try to take action on them, forgetting that often times, these promises are simply the fruit of Love. They are not a magic spell that guarantees security, wealth, easy living or even love in return. It's selfish, we are doing something "good" to get "good." This is the notion of works or Karma.
Think about it, what is Karma? Its the idea that if we do good then we get good, if we do bad we get bad. Seems like a simple enough concept, logical and fairly motivating. The truth of the concept that often escape our minds, but not our hearts, is the safety we feel in it. If I/ME/WE do good then life will be good! But what about when life doesn't go good? All we are left with is either blame on us or blame on God. Either we failed ourselves by doing something that brought this disease/lack/pain into our lives or God isn't "fair" and despite our goodness and all the ways we earned it, He has abandoned us. Ultimately we are left wondering why we should do good at all, because all along we were doing good for ourselves and not out of Love.
"Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.' The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”
Mark 12: 29-31 NLT
Why is no other commandment greater? Because every other commandment would automatically be followed if we were acting in love! If we loved God as much as He loves us, we would never doubt His actions. We would spot the lie from the Truth as soon as Satan tried to sneak it into our hearts because our hearts would cry out, "I know my God and that is not His way." When we love God so entirely, we cannot help but be changed into what we love. We take on His attributes, we learn real Love, and we see others the way God sees them.
Don't condemn yourself for the past, admit to God and yourself that you messed up but also receive the better way that He's got for you. Start with learning to love God, learning how very much He loves you, and the real change will begin. Don't worry about being perfect at it at first, don't get caught up in darkness He will reveal and heal in your heart. You're not stuck there, He is working in you. Even though Jesus is referring to earthly possessions, I feel that our worries in the emotional areas can be eased with this passage as well:
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33 NIV
Amen.
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